Often I’m surprised at how hard people are on themselves. Talented, accomplished, smart, engaging, sometimes even award-winning people beat themselves up about the things they don’t get done.
Instead of counting the wins for the day, the focus is on what didn’t happen. I suppose it’s to be expected due to the very qualities these people have. Striving is part of what got them where they are and so perhaps isn’t all bad.
But research also shows that beating ourselves up is counterproductive. (Pardon me if this sounds like one should beat him/herself up for beating up him/herself about getting things done.) The harder we are on ourselves, the more difficult it is to get into the mindset that we can accomplish whatever we set out to do.
I’m on a 30-day sugar fast and have broken it twice. In the past I might have figured that since I messed up the 30-day effort by eating a dessert the entire plan may as well be ditched. But my habit has been to eat sugar every day. Sometimes several times a day! So if I’ve had sugar two days out of the last 15, that’s going to count as a win. And that research mentioned above seems to be backed up. There’s a level of confidence that I can pass up the valentine candy sitting on the counter. Heck, 13 other days passed with no sugar. Why not today?
I’ve often said, ‘the brain only knows what we tell it,” and this is case in point. You tell yourself you’re not productive or accomplished enough and lo and behold you won’t be. Focus on your wins, even if you consider them minor, and you’ll have more of them. As a lifelong “not enough-er” I’m working on this every day.
Be kind to yourself. Count the positives. Pat yourself on the back for the thing you did get done. I’m out there cheering you on!
*It’s not really a trick. It’s an idea. Just like “secrets” aren’t usually secrets, they’re just ideas you may not have heard yet.
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